Power of Oxytocin: The Cuddle Hormone for Deeper Connections. - Lila Rasa

Power of Oxytocin: The Cuddle Hormone for Deeper Connections.

Let’s observe Oxytocin and its role in the body.

Oxytocin is produced in the hypothalamus and is secreted into the bloodstream by the posterior pituitary gland. Secretion depends on the electrical activity of neurons in the hypothalamus – it is released into the blood when these cells are excited.

Oxytocin is released in response to the activation of sensory nerves during labour, breastfeeding and sexual activity. This is the chemical that is responsible for your “bonding.” Let’s go deeper into its role in sex.

What’s happening in your Nervous System?

In the autonomic nervous system, Oxytocin influences the rest and digestion mechanism. Activating the parasympathetic nervous system. 

It works in symbiosis with another hormone, vasopressin. This hormone works with the sympathetic nervous system. Activating the flight or fight mechanism. Together they form a kind of yin/yang balance.

So Oxytocin has the power to shift you from a flight or fight mechanism- a sympathetic state. Into a  rest and digestion mechanism- parasympathetic state. 

Touch is your best friend.

You can activate Oxytocin, in your own body or your partner's body by touch. This is a beautiful way for couples to connect, but also a beautiful way for you to connect to yourself. This is because Oxytocin, like endorphins or serotonin, is a type of hormone in your body that promotes positive feelings. When we get touched our body starts to release oxytocin in response.

With this type of touch, we want to start by slowing everything down. Oxytocin touch is slow, this gives the body time to register your touch. Your breath is also slow here. Take long inhales and exhales. Steady yourself. Surrender yourself.

Self-practice. Run your hands slowly over your body. Take your time to explore, your skin. Is it soft? Is it warm? Then slow down the touch and feel into the sensation of being touched- observe this. Observe how your body starts to feel different as you touch yourself. How when we are conscious and place our attention on our skin, the skin sensors light up.

Partnered: Start by finding a comfortable seat, or maybe you choose to lie down. One partner is giving, and one receiving. The partner giving runs their hands all over their partner's body. Taking the time and going slow. Take your time to explore their skin. Is it soft? Is it warm? Then slow down the touch and feel the sensation of being touched and your partner for being touched, observe this. 


Massage is a great tool to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, and get those endorphins pumping. The moment you begin touching your partner, oxytocin releases. Here,  we are using the hands to open up the body and the energy.

Set intention. Take a second to set some intentions for the massage. Start by doing some eye gazing. Holding eye contact for about 2-5 minutes.

Set boundaries (giver and receiver). Set boundaries, on what areas are sensitive. How your body is feeling in respect to your body today. Also decide, whether you are going to be the giver or receiver. 

Couples, don’t have sex during or straight after the massage. This is so that the nervous system can have time to reprogram, or else you fall back into you give and then I receive and then we swap mentality. You are allowed to just receive or just give, it’s not transactional. Give 20- 30min before lovemaking. 

Work your hands slowly over your partner's back. Take time to connect the Heart and Sacrum- breathe into the body. Connect. Taking your time to activate the skin, run your fingers along the body. Giving time for their energy to open up. 

Play with the following:

Connecting the heart and sacrum from the back. Start by placing your hands over the heart (on the back body) and on the sacrum. Inviting in intention, allowing your partner’s body time to register your energy. Sinking in, becoming heavy. Then you begin. 

Slow movements. Move your hands slowly and steadily over your partner's back. Stroking the energy up or down but not both simultaneously. Move with your breath.

Change in sensation. The body love a good change in sensation. Nails running over the back, palms, the side of your arm, circles are all a good idea. 

Creases and napes. Run your fingers along the nape of the neck. Along the creases in the arms and legs, by the bum. The skin is thinner there, so the body will be naturally more sensitive. 

Oxytocin supports us in our connection to others and ourselves. And as the simple act of touch seems to boost oxytocin release. Giving someone a massage, cuddling with them, making love, and/or giving someone a hug leads to higher levels of this hormone. Resulting in a greater sense of well-being. 

Let’s explore this hormone in the bedroom and play with the sensations oxytocin releases.

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