Nipples: the erogenous zone that should never be overlooked. - Lila Rasa

Nipples: the erogenous zone that should never be overlooked.

There is nothing as pleasurable as having your nipples stimulated. You can even experience an orgasm, a Nipplegasm, through this stimulation. The nipples are an erogenous zone that can often be overlooked when in the bedroom. This is probably due to the very penetrative forward culture we live in. Or they are handled more like they are being grabbed at rather than caressed.

The key to being with women is simple: move slower and be more conscious of your touch. Fast movements desensitise the body due to your body feeling overstimulated. When we tune in and move slower, we give the body time to fully surrender to the sensation and create a sense of safety in our intimate space. 


Erogenous Zones. 

Erogenous zones are, parts of the body that excite sexual feelings when they are touched or stimulated. The breasts are a major erogenous zone. That being said, our breasts have their own thing going on while having sex. They can even swell up to 25 per cent in size when aroused. Your nipples and areola are nerve-rich and come alive when touched, observe how your nipple responds and goes hard when aroused. 


A study done by, Whipple and Brash-McGreer, introduced the circular model of female sexual response. This model compromised of seduction (desire), sensations (excitement), surrender (orgasm), and reflection (resolution). Being aware of this circular model can help you understand your body better and know that it is circular and not linear. Meaning you can start at any point of this cycle and it takes into account that women have a complexity in their sexuality that needs to be accounted for. This also means that breast play can fall into sensations, surrender and desire. Which will eventually result in reflection through a climax.

Slow down, cowboy.

My number one tip has always been, and will always be to slow down. Your breasts are nerve-ending rich, and when we learn how to slow down and hold space for our breasts we allow our bodies to drop into the sensation. When we slow down we allow for an opening. In this opening, we begin to create safety within our bodies, and can fully begin to experience the pleasure we feel.

Technique to try: have your partner work lightly around your areola's and nipples with their finger and maybe even cup your whole breast slowly and lightly massaging them. Use oil and go slow. Allow yourself to drop into the subtleness of the sensation and see how deeply you can surrender. Open your voice, and let your partner know which sensations feel the best.

Breast play is the best play.

Oxytocin is known as the love hormone and is often also commonly referred to as the cuddle hormone. It is responsible for those strong feelings of bonding and intimacy between you and your partner. When your partner stimulates your breasts, this has been found to light up two portions of the brain. It lights up the area that receives chest sensations and then also the area that receives genital sensations. This is why some women can climax from nipple stimulation alone. So when you work with this hormone, in safety, and with a partner that is present with you it can help you open you hold more pleasure in your body. Slowly surrendering and opening up your capacity to take in and hold more pleasure in the body.


The body loves a good change in sensation. Here you can get creative. Whether you are using your mouth or hands, you can change up the sensation by:

  • Drawing circles around the nipples.
  • Tapping slightly.
  • Making figure eights with your fingers.
  • Squeezing or pinching 
  • Sucking and blowing. 
  • Licking.
  • Adding in hot breath or playing with cold.

By getting creative with how you touch your partner, and how you touch yourself, you begin to explore which sensations feel the best for you. Which sensations allow you to surrender more, what emotions come up for you and how you can hold more space for yourself. Just remember to follow the sensation and not to chase the orgasm.

Moan for me.

Your throat and Yoni are connected via the vagus nerve, which is the largest nerve in the body. This nerve connects the brainstem to the sacral nerve plexus. The vagus nerve activates the parasympathetic nervous system and sends relief through the body. Your parasympathetic nervous system is related to rest and digestion, and if we are in a relaxed state while having sex we can allow for more pleasure and facilitate healing.

The Yoni and throat (voice) also have a similar structure. The word “ cervix” even comes front the Latin word for the neck. Both the Yoni and the throat are supported by a set of hammock-like diaphragmatic muscles which move in tandem with our respiration. 

So when we open our voices, we open our Yoni as well. When someone is fully in their voice they are also fully in their sexuality. So when we open the voice through moaning, we open a gateway to the Yoni. Therefore, opening the throat, and vocalising your pleasure helps to relax the area and opens the pelvic floor. If your voice is closed, the Yoni naturally closes up as well. This is also why women who don’t feel heard have resistance to opening up sexually. The body always tells the truth. 

Nipples are magic, let's begin treating them as such. Our bodies never lie, and once we learn to acknowledge that we begin to work with our pleasure. We begin to work on releasing and transforming through our sexual energy. 

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