5 Tips for dealing with a Sensitive Gag Reflex. - Lila Rasa

5 Tips for dealing with a Sensitive Gag Reflex.

Most of us have all been there. I can go months without any form of a gag reflex, and then I spontaneously start to gag again. It’s like the sensitivity comes out of nowhere, which is hugely frustrating but with a few tips becomes extremely manageable.

There is nothing like pleasuring your partner by using your mouth. The sensation is otherworldly. There is something so erotic and primal in nature when taking a man into your mouth and when you are both enjoying yourselves and the pleasure is otherworldly.  

Only the united beat of sex and heart together can create ecstasy.” Anais Nin.

Communication is key.

Communication during sex is so important. We get so caught up in the act, we forget that we can use our voice. I would start the communication off by explaining how he feels in your mouth. What that sensation is like for you, you can even tell him how he tastes, how he feels wrapped around your lips and which depths work best for you depending on where your gag reflex is at. It is so beautiful when you start to share your experience with your partner, because they aren't in your body, and without communication, they won’t know how it feels for you.

When you communicate, both you and your partner are on the same page. In fact, he might love it when you gag, but without communicating it you would never know. This will make giving a blow job way easier as he will be aware of where your boundaries are. Remember that boundaries change. So by keeping communication open you can experience all these different levels of intimacy and sensation. 

Breathe, baby.

Breathing is so important when it comes to dealing with your gag reflex, but also when it comes to giving a blow job. We tend to hold our breath when giving oral. I think it’s because you are so preoccupied with the fact a penis is in your mouth and you are trying not to gag that you tend to hold your breath. I would recommend trying to focus less on your gag reflex and more on taking slow deep breaths. Have him enter your mouth shallowly at first, so that you can get used to breathing before adding more movement or depth. By breathing slower, you are allowing for more oxygen to enter your bloodstream and this enhances your entire sexual experience. It will also help you keep calm and relaxed, helping feel your gag reflex and into your boundaries.

Slowly is Holy. 

When we move slowly during sex, we are allowing ourselves to drop into the sensation. So when we move slowly during a blow job, we are allowing ourselves to fully feel the sensation of how he feels in your mouth. This doesn’t mean that you can’t change pace, it just means that when you move slower you allow your body to fully feel the sensation. This slow movement also allows your body to adapt to having him in your mouth, and with a sensitive gag reflex, this can help you feel more comfortable.

Know your limits.

Practice helps a lot. You might not be able to get rid of your gag reflex, but you can know your limits by practising with other things, such as your fingers, a banana, and a yoni wand. This can help you desensitise your gag reflex a little, allowing you to become accustomed to the sensation. When you know your boundaries, you will immediately become more comfortable and confident while giving a blow job. When we know our boundaries we can hold ourselves safely and only extend or change them to our comfort. Remember that you might be giving oral, but your pleasure and comfort are just as important as he is. 

Use your hands

If all else fails, and the gag reflex is too much, use your hands. You can alternate your mouth shallowly on the head and shaft of his penis while using your hands to work the base and lower shaft. The tip of the penis is extremely nerve-rich and sensitive. Bad Girls Bible recommends, focusing on licking the tip of his penis and using the least amount of pressure possible. So moving your mouth and tongue around that area is highly stimulating. This way you are still taking him into your mouth but also using your hands to make the experience more pleasurable for you because you can control the depth. Remember that you don’t need to deep-throat him to give a good blow job, and you never have to feel uncomfortable during oral sex.


Tailor your technique to what makes you feel most empowered and comfortable during oral. Remember that a gag reflex is something that you can work around, and by knowing your body, you can have the most sensation-rich and pleasurable experience. 


If you are interested in using a yoni wand for practice, feel free to head to our store and have a look at our collection. 

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